Bummer Tuesday Ramblings.

Maybe it is the terror of the new semester but I feel like I had settled in for a long winters night all comfy and cozy and … SLAP…. you must return to the reality of life go back teach the kids. I know, I know, I have a god job and decent career and in this economy; I have a job and I need to be thankful for that; so I am trying to write down what I am grateful for and what I am trying to do for the new year. I hate blogs that start with the list if 10 things  blah blah blah… SO I decided to write a bit more like William James and be a bit stream of consciousness.

As I drug my sorry tired old fat booty back home from a long day of teaching, I knew I needed to get more sleep. It would also be easier to be on my game with about 30-40 lbs. So I have checked into a good aqua aerobics class and am considering signing up again for Tuesday/Thursday night, only problem is it is at the high school I teach at and “swim season” is now on going and it is not so great to hear “Hey Mrs F.” from across the pool as I am dragging my flabby butt in the water. Maybe I should look into Pilates. In the mean time I am walking on the treadmill to the “Pillars of the Earth” dvd.  So far I have been good, no high carbs, no alcohol,  no refined sugars and no chocolate. Although the ½ a bottle of red wine began to sing to me as I entered the door today but I put ear plugs in as I ate my hummus and celery and drank my low cal cranberry juice. Not as much fun but I bet I will sleep better.

As far as gratitude and job satisfaction, I need a serious readjustment or that lotto win. I had a whole new group of classes and yes they went great. Kids worked, I think, I taught some new ones some old material again but sometimes I question my decision to teach again. I see so much being left behind, people working long hard hours for little pay and recognition, little back up and poor materials. This lack of support for the staff, I think wears on me more than anything. I had the best computer I have ever worked on at the school, decommissioned for another department. It made me sooo mad. That computer sat in my lab/classroom for almost 3 years. While the male teacher used it was not moved but a female moves in and zap the computer is taken for another male teacher. Coincidence? maybe, maybe not. I love the excitement of their eyes when they get something. The whining I could do without. I love when I feel like I have made a connection and give someone direction. I wish I had more direction. I have considered going into academic counseling and am thinking that is absolutely the path I have considered hardest. I would love to go back to school for genetics counseling but the tuition is far too high. So counseling on the academic level is the wisest choice. and this is what my life boils down to most times… The wisest decision for now. I wish I had a little more seeing eye for the future so I would make the best decision and not the best one for now.    So I guess the end of it all I will drudge along doing the best I can with what I am, what I have and what I am doing maybe that is the best anyone really can ask for in life.